Like British TV programming from the 1970s, board games have something of an image problem.

Unlike British TV programming from the 1970s, we’re trying to do something about it with the things we talk about on this here Best Play.

Annoyingly, we’re not helped when there seems to be a worrying amount of board games with seriously dodgy undertones. Here’s a collection of the most uncomfortable looking board games, mostly gathered from the 1970s, surely the most uncomfortable decade of all.

I’m surprised there’s not a Peadopoly actually, come to think of it.


Jim’ll Fix It

jim

Revelations following Jimmy Saville’s death in 2011 have given this family friendly board game from yesterday a decidedly dodgy tone.


Big Foot

bigfoot

I don’t like it. I know literally nothing about how to play this game, but I’m really not happy with the way Big Foot is interacting with these children. The whole scene is just not normal.


Let’s Be Safe

letsbesafe

Don’t worry, Joan Lunden (who?) is here to save our children from the next Jimmy Saville with this fantastic worker-placement eurogame about being safe from paedos. “If every family played this game, we’d all feel a lot safer”. Amen to that, Joan.


Don’t Wake Daddy

dont wake daddt

There’s something really horrible about this too.

I think if it was called ‘Don’t Wake Dad’ it might be OK, but the combination of the word ‘Daddy’, presumably spoken in hushed pre-pubescent tones, and the plastic man lying on a bed with his eyes alarmingly open really do make for an incredibly unpleasant looking game.


Tight Squeeze

Tight squeeze board game

All looks very innocent in principle, but this is exactly the sort of game that could be used for nefarious purposes.

And that name. Come on.


Camp Granada

camp granada

This initially made me laugh because I thought it said camp grandad, but it’s still pretty funny anyway.

I say funny. I mean creepy. Object of the game: the get home from camp … somehow! Dodgy, presumably evangelical Christian, camp leaders spring to mind.


Feeley Meeley

feeleymeeley

I can’t help but really want to find out what’s in the box.

That’s how they get you, I suppose. Seems like the ideal prop for *that* uncle to get up to no good.

And I really don’t like the name. I’m not sure I want to have a ‘funny feeling’ when I play it either.

Particularly sinister with Feeley Meeley is the cap on how old players can be. From five to fourteen, and no older … shudder.


It’s probably best these almost-forgotten games are consigned to the medium’s gloomy past. In the meantime, we’ll be spending most of our time looking for newer, better, less dodgy ways to play games.