It’s well documented that Monopoly is among the shittest of board games. Yet, somehow, it remains one of the most popular.
There are over 500 editions of Monopoly, from the oddly specific to the shameless tie-in, and each more cleverly named than the last-opoly.
Monopoly BBK Clinical Research & Development Edition
Apparently now you can experience all the challenge and excitement of studying investigational treatments, enrolling clinical trials, and gaining the leading edge in the global clinical development marketplace. And that’s a direct quote from the website. Say no more.
Just like everyone’s favourite Government department, the dearly-loved Competition and Markets Authority, Anti-monopoly is designed to be your friend. It might save you from yet another game of normal, capitalist Monopoly, but it’s probably not that much fun anyway. Couldn’t tell you. Haven’t played it.
Dot Com Edition
Pennybags made a killing in the dotcom boom of the late ‘90s.
The 2000 web-inspired edition features Ask Jeeves and Geocities as upgradeable tiles and the preemo slot is saved for, erm, Yahoo – which has its own version of Monopoly too, as it happens.
You can even play as a surfboard. You know. For surfin’ the information superhighway.
Disney Pixar Cars 2 Edition
Don’t let the oddly-shaped circular playing board put you off. The Disney Pixar Cars 2 edition follows on where the Disney Pixar Cars 1 edition left off, even though it doesn’t exist.
The original, which like I say doesn’t actually exist, was a deep and intricate work of fiction that you simply must play before starting this hotly-anticipated follow-up, in order to get the most out of this rich, thought-provoking take on modern capitalism.
Bass Fishing Monopoly – Lake Edition
Love Monopoly? Obviously.
Love fishing, specifically for bass? Also obviously.
HATE bass fishing in the sea or in rivers or in ponds or whatever? Abso-lutely. Hate that.
Well fret no more, Hasbro have released a lakes edition in their hugely successful bass fishing series of Monopoly games for all you lake lovers out there.
Second gayest Monopoly I could find.
Because cell phones are inherently gay, right?
Invest in you. Be Healthy. Be Happy. BEGIN!
I would really like to find out what ‘do it’ cards are.
Monopoly Hewlett-Packard Supply Chain Edition 2005
Every parent out there remembers this hot piece of board game. In the build up to Christmas 2005, there wasn’t a kid in the land that wasn’t desperately begging Santa to bring them a copy of this IT supply chain version of Monopoly under the tree.
Urban legends continue to circulate about the extreme lengths some parents went to to get hold of this crazy fad a decade ago.
Those long hot summer days of our youths talking about the END OF LIFE TAX tile. Ahh … such innocence.
Genuinely no idea. Seems quite gay, in a way. Might not be though. Definitely sexual in some form or another, but it’s all in Dutch so I don’t know for sure.
Must be hard being on the ideation team at Monopoly headquarters. Reminds me of whoever comes up with the ideas for Adam Sandler movies. There are just only so many ways to reformat the same thing.
Definitely thought of at the end of a Friday afternoon before deadline day, the inflatable edition has got to be one of the most pointless versions going.
Lionel Collector’s Edition – Postwar Era
You know what?
Fuck the model trains Lionel produced prior to 1945. Stick with the postwar version of Monopoly Lionel Edition instead.
Pedigree Dog Lover’s Edition
When Hasbro innocently released the Dog Lover’s edition of Monopoly in 2005 or something, it featured dogs of all shapes and sizes.
I was physically sick when I saw it, and threatened to sue. As a result, the firm launched this much more respectable version, featuring only the kinds of breeds that have breathing problems and are ideally in quite a lot of pain when they walk.
The limits of Hasbro’s creativity certainly knows no bounds. There are other ones too, shitter ones, that I can’t be bothered to write about that I could have included as well. Stuff like Shih-tzu-opoly. And White Tail-opoly. And the Zapped edition, which has an iPad in it for some reason.
Please Hasbro. Please stop. Make it stop. Please.